Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
Bev?
Kev!
Bev.
So that’s where I’ve seen her before. Sadly (but don’t tell any of the cool young things, especially Ben) I’m not feeling the new series of Look Around You as much as the first. Get the DVD. Trust me; it’s ace.
I would recommend you not do the following today (today being Valentine’s Day)
1) Spend the day bemoaning your fate at being a singleton
2) Mutter something about “commercial sell-outs” at the posters in your local Woollies and Thornton’s or shoot evil glances at delivery people depositing flowers and chocolates on colleagues’ desks
3) Go to a wedding fair on Valentine’s Weekend in Croydon. In fact, don’t go to any wedding fairs in Croydon. Trust the lady who did the field test yesterday afternoon.
4) Moan about Charles and Camilla.
5) Moan about the weather.
6) Moaning generally is probably not very helpful. Go eat something with Vitamin D in it.
Last night my fiance was so uncooperative as to turn into a pale blue bag of white flour, which I subsequently lost owing to the large amount of coaches at the busy intersection I- or should I say, “we” were waiting at in order to get to the park to spend some quality time together.
Dreams, eh?
…so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer” Homer Simpson
“Pie-eyed”– what a marvellous expression to describe an inebriate.
The three young men sitting opposite me on the Victoria Line on Saturday evening were definitely steak-and-kidneyed. I like to watch drunkards on my travels. They are invariably- when not violent or abusive- entertaining even though I feel slightly abashed at my own voyeurism (or is that schadenfreude?). I’ve never been sloshed myself and for very good reason. People like me would sit and watch, laugh at the ridiculous antics (that wth a vague sense of guilt almost certainly won’t be remembered by the watched in the morning) and unreservedly blog about it.